Does it really take a village?

In the midst of life's chaos and challenges, there's a timeless truth that resonates deeply within each of us: it takes a village. This adage isn't just a quaint saying; it's a profound acknowledgment of the interconnectedness that defines our human experience. If we’re lucky, from the moment we're born, we’re enveloped by a network of relationships, a web of support that sustains us through the ups and downs of life. No one truly gets through life without community. It takes a village to raise us…even through adulthood!

I was reminded of this several times this week: once when our three year old grandbaby had a meltdown and I could see that her tired mama was about to have one too before I stepped in to take the baton, when I invited a formerly incarcerated student to speak to my graduate students and he casually mentioned that when he got released from prison, me and my business partners were the only family he had, and when I realized that I’d been bamboozled by a group of people I was helping for work (I called a couple of friends and we had a good laugh about how we often ignore our gut feeling about people to give them the benefit of the doubt only to realize we’d definitely been the victim of bamboozlement. It’s just nice to know you aren’t alone in that, isn’t it?).

Imagine a world where we navigated every trial and triumph alone. It's a bleak picture, isn't it? But thankfully, that doesn’t have to be our reality. We’re fortunate to live in a world where communities thrive, where neighbors become friends, and strangers become family. And in these communities, we can find solace, strength, and solidarity.

I’m a member of the Dull Women’s Club. For real. I know I’m not dull, but I have to tell you that there’s a huge part of me that wants to be. My inner self would really like to spend my days crafting, sewing, cooking, reading, and just hanging on my back porch watching my kids get older while I do all those things. So it’s a blast reading about and communicating with women all over the world just like me…living exciting to not-so-exciting lives but celebrating our inner dullard. It’s also pretty comforting to realize that all of our outward and inner struggles are shared. And the greatest thing about community of like-minded people is that you never have to bear burdens alone. If you’re up, you’re able to prop someone else up, and if you’re down, someone who’s up is there to lend a hand…or a laugh…or a shoulder…or an “I feel you.” The best part of the Dull Women’s Club is that we all recognize we aren’t alone, in good times or bad. The power of having a positive community can make all the difference.

Building positive community isn't just a nice idea—it's essential for our well-being. When we surround ourselves with people who lift us up, who cheer us on in our victories and offer a shoulder to lean on in our struggles, we become stronger. Our burdens feel lighter, our joys more vibrant. Together, we weather the storms of life and bask in the warmth of shared moments of joy.

But building a positive community isn't always easy. It requires intentionality, vulnerability, and a willingness to show up for others even when it's inconvenient. It means setting aside our differences and embracing the common humanity that unites us all. It means extending grace and compassion, even when it's easier to judge or criticize. It can also be a difficult skill to teach, especially when working with returning citizens or youth who are system impacted. Trusting others is hard enough for most of us, but when your experience has been consistent bamboozlement by others or that you yourself have been the bamboozler, stepping out to trust others or yourself can feel dangerous or impossible. It’s natural for people to want to close ranks and isolate.

Yet, the rewards of cultivating a supportive community are immeasurable. In times of crisis, it's our community that rallies around us, offering practical help and unwavering emotional support. In moments of celebration, it's our community that rejoices with us, sharing in our triumphs and reminding us that we're never alone. When I find myself wanting to isolate, I allow for one or two days, maybe, and then I make a date with a friend for coffee or lunch, a commitment that gets me out and about and communing. Our brains can fool us into thinking we can just do life all by ourselves. That’s your brain trying to bamboozle you. It lies! :) Give it a nod (because truly your brain is trying to protect you, even if it’s misguided), then get out and find your peeps.

And it's not just in times of crisis or celebration that community matters. It's in the everyday moments, the small gestures of kindness and connection, that the true magic of community reveals itself. It's the neighbor who lends a listening ear over a cup of coffee, the friend who drops off a homemade meal when we're feeling under the weather, the stranger who offers a smile and a word of encouragement on a difficult day.

In a world that often feels fractured and divided, the power of community offers a beacon of hope. It reminds us that we aren’t defined by our differences, but by our shared humanity. It challenges us to look beyond ourselves and see the beauty and richness that lies in the tapestry of human connection. And when we encounter people who struggle with connection, let’s be patient, gaining trust slowly, proving ourselves worthy of being a part of the community, and not worrying too much about the occasional bamboozlement, because it’s better to be kind and get bamboozled every now and then than to never be kind at all. Some say.

So let us embrace the village—together, we can weather any storm, celebrate every victory, and create a world where kindness, compassion, and belonging reign supreme. For in the end, it's not just about surviving—it's about thriving, and that's something we can only do together, in the warm embrace of our shared community.

Raise your coffee mug and give yourself a hardy “cheers!” And if you need/want to chat, you know where to find me. :)