This Mother's Day, Let's Remember the Mothers Behind Bars
It’s Mother’s Day, and for many of us, that means flowers, phone calls, brunch reservations, and handmade cards. It’s a day of celebration, of gratitude, of presence. But for the over 150,000 women incarcerated in jails and prisons across the U.S., Mother’s Day can be a brutal reminder of separation, loss, and systemic failure.
Roughly 80% of women in jail are mothers—many of them single parents. And yet, the systems we’ve built to respond to crime, poverty, addiction, and trauma were never designed with mothers—or women—in mind.
Let me explain.
When we talk about incarceration, we too often default to a male-centered narrative. Most of our correctional systems were literally built by men, for men. As a result, the experiences of incarcerated women—and the programs, policies, and support structures that could serve them—are often overlooked or misapplied.
Here's what that looks like in practice:
Trauma goes untreated. The vast majority of incarcerated women have experienced physical or sexual abuse, often beginning in childhood. Yet trauma-informed care is still not the norm in correctional facilities, and programming for women rarely addresses these root causes in a meaningful way.
Healthcare is inadequate. From gynecological care to prenatal and postpartum services, incarcerated women often receive inconsistent, substandard treatment. Shackling pregnant women during labor still happens in some places, despite widespread condemnation and clear medical risks.
Motherhood is interrupted. Most incarcerated mothers are primary caregivers before their incarceration. Once inside, they face enormous obstacles to maintaining connections with their children—limited visitation, expensive phone calls, and policies that discourage bonding. Some even lose parental rights while incarcerated.
Reentry is steep. Upon release, women are often funneled into reentry systems that don’t address their unique needs. They face housing insecurity, difficulty finding employment with a criminal record, and a lack of access to childcare. Many reentry programs are built on a male model that doesn’t consider the nuances of a mother reuniting with her kids after years apart.
So what can we do?
For starters, we can begin by listening to incarcerated women. Their lived experiences should inform how we build systems of care, accountability, and rehabilitation. Then, we need to shift resources accordingly:
Invest in trauma-informed, gender-responsive programming. Every facility housing women should have programs tailored to their needs, from mental health to parenting to substance use treatment.
Support family connection. That means expanding visitation, subsidizing phone calls, and offering parenting classes—not as punishment, but as empowerment.
Rethink alternatives to incarceration. Many women are incarcerated for nonviolent offenses tied to addiction, poverty, or survival. Community-based alternatives like diversion programs, treatment centers, and restorative justice initiatives keep families together and provide more effective long-term outcomes.
Prepare for reunification. Reentry planning should start at intake—not 30 days before release—and it should include family services, transitional housing, job placement, and support for reconnecting with children.
This Mother’s Day, while many of us are celebrating with our families, let’s also hold space for the mothers behind bars—the ones reading bedtime stories over the phone, the ones missing their babies’ first steps, and the ones trying to heal.
Let’s not forget that healing is possible—but only if we’re willing to build systems that treat women not as numbers or cases, but as whole people. As mothers. As daughters. As citizens who deserve dignity, humanity, and a second chance.
Here’s to them. And here’s to doing better.
I hope, if you’re a mother, that you’re celebrating with your babies (no matter their age), and If you still have your mom, I hope you have the type of relationship where you can hug her tight, and if you aren’t a mother and don’t have your mother to celebrate with, I hope you have a joyful day and can raise a cup to all the moms out there who are doing their best. Cuz, let me tell you, parenting is not for the faint of heart.
Happy Mom’s Day!
